It has been a busy 25 years if we reckon from your first flute lesson…
“Busy, but I hope this is just the beginning! I believe that great things await me in the future. Even getting into the Liszt Academy appears unbelievable, not to mention testing myself abroad and standing my ground on the world’s stages as a Hungarian. I won a one-year Erasmus study scholarship to Zürich University of the Arts in 2008, ushering in an extraordinarily fruitful period. I had a most excellent teacher in Prof. Dr. Matthias Ziegler, founder of modern flute playing. Through him I could intensify my knowledge of the modern flute technique, something that I later wrote my thesis on. As the central argument, I proposed that modern and innovative techniques that only featured in the curriculum of high school students could actually be mastered at an earlier, primary school age. This brought about a revolutionary change and today my thesis is taught in the syllabus of music schools in Switzerland. I planned to spend one year abroad but this change meant that the Swiss university offered to take me on from the Liszt Academy in Hungary without needing to sit the entrance exam.

“I felt that if Switzerland called me for the second time, then I should be there.”

You only took advantage of the opportunity after you had graduated here at home. Why?
“Because I am proud and grateful for everything that, as a Hungarian, I received from my homeland and my teachers, thus it was only natural that I should first complete my studies in Budapest, and only after this take advantage of the generous Swiss invitation. In Switzerland I finished my classical music studies and graduated from the jazz department. It meant a great deal to me that I had the possibility – even during my studies – of playing with the Tonhalle-Orchester of Zurich, I recorded a CD jointly with the Winterthur Symphony Orchestra, I was able to perform under the baton of Hans Zender, and I had the chance to work with artists of the Opera House. I was taken on as a teacher at the Rorbas Music Teaching Centre and I won the Winterthur Symphony Orchestra’s flute rehearsal competition. I became a member of a circle of artists in which I moved freely and to which I remain loyal to this day.

“In Switzerland, there is a long tradition of patronage, it is a matter of great pride when a patron embraces an artist. I nurture friendships with several famous families.

“I have much to thank my patrons for, both professionally and personally speaking: my instruments, countless home concerts and heart-warming invitations. For instance, when due to concert scheduling I was unable to travel home to my family for the holidays, the Esterházy family invited me to spend Christmas with them. Today, I consider the niece of the wife of Prince Pál Eszterházy as my honorary mother and I also enjoy the support of the famous Jacobs family.”

How should one envisage the home concerts that you mentioned?
“Well-to-do, culture-loving families pay visits to concerts, theatres, opera houses and concert halls. Alongside concerts played to full houses, home concerts enjoy great popularity in Switzerland. These are staged in the residences of wealthy patrons who are connoisseurs of classical music. The home concerts are private and invitations go out to friends and relatives of the host.”

Am I correct in assuming that only those make it to this elevated position in their profession who are not only believed in by others, but who believe in themselves as well?
“Unfortunately I do not belong to that circle of artists awash in self-confidence, although I am a perfectionist. I always strive for perfection which means that I make even the experience of my successes difficult. But perhaps I have this to thank for the fact that I have set myself serious goals packed with challenges. I always considered it important not only to take to the stage as soloist but also to be able to pass on to my students some of the knowledge I have accumulated, and parallel with this assist them in their careers. I am a jury member of the prestigious Zurich Music Competition and the committee chair of the annual flute examinations held by music schools in Zurich. In addition, I am a member of the committee awarding the Aargau Kuratorium Prize for Culture in the classical music and jazz sections.”

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Blanka Kerekes

Were you a perfectionist as a child?
“Yes, this is a family trait. My parents always taught me not to be satisfied. I wasn’t an easy case, I was interested in numerous areas of life. I played athletics, handball, I went to music school, I attended language classes, I was interested in so many things that the traditional music school method engaged my attention only with the greatest difficulty. I was lucky that right at the beginning I started to learn music under Szabolcs Kövi, who was my free-spirited, creative, youthfully dynamic teacher. Besides teaching me the basics very well, we did a lot of improvization and we composed music. I can thank him for my love of the instrument. We released a joint CD when I was just 11 years old and we gave concerts in venues including the Budapest Merlin Theatre and the University of Horticulture. Even then I had the chance to sample the beautiful world of music, which inspires and motivates me to this day.”

How did popularity affect you at such an early age?
“It was easy because I enjoyed it. I looked on it as a game, it was just great fun.”

Didn’t it involve giving up a lot? Or is this the only way that talent can blossom?
“Not so much.

“I can now say that on the basis of my teaching experience, talent is very rare and it is similar to a beautiful flower. It is exceptional, but if it is not watered, if it is not tended, then it wilts.”

From whom did you inherit your artistic streak and how did the choice of the flute in particular come about?
“My mother is a fashion designer, stylist and fine art teacher. She designs my stage costumes and she has won special prizes at fashion Olympics on several occasions. My grandparents are also of an artistic temperament. My father sang in the choir of the Opera House, he played the violin and the viola, he is a polymath and as regards his profession, he is a doctor. He chose the flute for me.  He instinctively felt which instrument would best suit me, the one through which I could express myself.”

Leaving such a cohesive family, was it difficult to get used to the somewhat austere mentality of the Swiss?
“Yes, it was difficult. The Swiss are reserved and receptive only with difficulty. I grew up in a warm, loving, embracing family. In Hungary, the professional acknowledgments were given by a grateful audience wishing to express their emotions. On the contrary, in Switzerland the audience is rather standoffish and reserved. By now I have worked out what words and attributes they employ to express their recognition.”

However, have you been able to find pure happiness in your successes?
“That is a very good question, this is a great problem for me. After a performance I constantly turn over all the events in my mind and there is always something I would do differently.”

What was it like to test yourself in other genres, for example, alongside Ádám Török?
“It was a fantastic experience to play music with the king of the blues, I had so many totally unforgettable moments. At home with my parents we listened to many recordings from Ádám Török through Aretha Franklin and Miles Davis to The Doors. I grew up listening to the greats of many different genres. It was painful that here at home I did not have the opportunity to try out some of these trends. At that time, single-subject majors only were accepted, so somebody became either a classical or a jazz musician, there was no real crossover between the genres.

“I was given the opportunity in Switzerland and I chose jazz as a complementary course to go alongside classical music subjects. At my diploma concert I stood in front of the board with a combination of classical and jazz, which even there was not that common.”

You mentioned how proud you are of being Hungarian. In 2020, you represented the country at the World Economic Forum online concert video, in which a famous musician from every EU state was selected for a recital of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy. Do you feel this is important for Hungarians as well?
My connection with my homeland is close, it is important for me to return home regularly. I can consider myself lucky in that Hungary not only calls me as a private individual but it also puts forward distinguished invitations in my professional capacity. In Veszprém, I am a member of the jury for the Festival of Dance – National and International Contemporary Art Meeting, we have given several joint concerts with the Mendelssohn Chamber Orchestra. My hometown has won the title European Capital of Culture for 2023. I am excited to be putting together a programme for my stage appearance for this event, plus we are planning new combined concerts with Roby Lakatos.”

What else are you very proud of, or what is important for you, but we have not yet touched on?
“In the professional sphere it was with enormous pride that in 2019 I received an invitation to an international festival in Yerevan, Armenia, where in a solo concert I had the chance to introduce myself in the company of first instrumentalists from the world’s greatest orchestras. I am also happy to be able to give regular concerts to patients in clinics, following in the footsteps of my father in the spirit of healing. I have made appearances at several charity concerts, and from the money raised a start has been made on building schools, purchasing educational equipment and creating possibilities for families living in disadvantaged countries. I feel it is important to mention that I began my studies in a sports elementary school and a love of sports has remained in my blood all my life. I am a tennis, skiing and spinning trainer at the Zurich Sport Academy. I am convinced that sport is essential for musicians in order to maintain stamina and physical strength. I encourage all my students to pursue sports.”

When did your passion for radios start? 
I must have been six or seven years old when I first disassembled one to see who was talking inside it. We lived on a farm where, in the absence of an electrical network, we only had a battery operated radio. Every time my parents left home, I took it apart. After a while, my parents began to notice that it would never work they returned home. I was even threatened with a report to Santa if I disassembled it again. That was a shock, but I still didn’t give up on the radio and I built my first crystal radio when I was eleven. Unfortunately, I don’t have that one any more, but I have another one, which I made two years later. It still works and is part of my collection. 

As a child, did you know you wanted to work with radios? 
I wanted to go to a technical university, to attend a faculty of electrical engineering but, unfortunately, the ruling order at the time did not find me suitable. Nevertheless, I found a position in the technical field, working as a surveyor in a telephone factory for six years. Then I continued to train myself and worked for twenty-seven years, until my retirement, as an equipment supervisor at the Vilati Building Electricity Installations company: in charge of the entire equipment manifest, from purchasing, through management, to repair. 

How long have you been collecting radios? 
I retired in 1991 and we moved to Rábapatona. Word spread fast that I am familiar with radios, and more and more people asked me to repair their old devices. After someone brought me their sixth radio, I asked them why they need so many and if they collected them. It turned out that they took them to Austria and Germany to sell, where they are in high demand. The next time he came, he gave me a couple as a gift, I repaired them and from then on I started collecting. 

When we moved to Tardos in 1998, I already had twenty-one radios. 

In 2001, I was asked to host a two-week exhibition at the cultural centre. There was a lot of interest, so everyone encouraged me to make the collection a permanent exhibition. The municipality supported the initiative financially. I bought shelves and, in the same year, the museum opened in my home with twenty-seven radios. 

How many items does your collection contain now? 
I have one hundred and thirty-one. I restored them all myself. Over a period of twenty-six years, I have spent more than five thousand hours making them operational again. I’m never just content with the devices only functioning again, I like to restore them from the outside as well. I will not exhibit any piece until it is in its original state. I once had to wait for three years for the right upholstery, which was acquired from Tanzania by one of my fellow collectors. 

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András Tarnóczy - Photo: Attila Domokos

How do you feel when an old radio sounds again after hours of work? 
It gives me enormous pleasure. The restoration time varies, depending on the condition of the device and the number of problems, but I never give up. The amazing thing is that every device has a different problem, the same issue is very rarely repeated. To find it, I usually set up a logical sequence of examination. 

Repair also requires serious mental work, which helps keep me stay mentally agile. 

Where do you get the parts needed for the restoration? 
I also collect the parts. I’ve amassed a lot over the decades and there will still be plenty left over after I am gone. If I don’t have the right parts, which sometimes happens, I turn to my fellow collectors for help, I have a lot of contacts, not only in Hungary but also in France, Germany, Austria, the Netherlands and Slovakia. 

Do you also restore the housings yourself? 
I can do smaller tasks myself, my dear friend, a retired carpenter, taught me some tricks of the trade, such as placing the grain of the veneer sheet covering the device perpendicular to that of the plywood of the case because, when drying, the veneer would crack in the direction of its grain but the perpendicular grain of the plywood stops it. For larger jobs, I turn to a carpenter. I don’t understand varnishing at all. 

Where are your radios from? Do you buy them, or receive them as gifts? 
My collection increases mostly through donations. On each exhibit, I indicate the name of the donor, along with the type, manufacturer and year of manufacture of the radio. I have been a member of the Nostalgia Radio Association for more than twenty years and we meet quarterly at the ‘Puskás Tivadar Technical School of Telecommunications’, where we swap and buy from each other. Real treasures can be found there. 

Do you collect all kinds or do you specialise in a certain type or era? 
I mainly collect Hungarian radios, demonstrating the history of Hungarian radio production from the beginning, though some foreign pieces can also be found in the collection. I have Italian, French, Austrian, German and Russian devices as well. From the very beginning, I decided to focus on the initial period, collecting models manufactured up until the end of valve radio production, that is, until the mid-1970s, because a significant portion of my spare parts are also for those. I no longer collect devices with transistor or integrated circuits. 

Which is your oldest radio? 

The oldest ones are ninety-three or ninety-four years old. Those are called box radios, because the machine itself is a box. 

In those days they did not have built-in speakers, but placed them on top or next to the device. Collectors also call some speakers a basin speaker because they are similar to them in size and shape. I also have some interesting pieces from the period between the two world wars. Initially, the Telefongyár Részvénytársaság, the Orion Factory and EKA made radios, of which I have several in my collection. It is worth knowing that initially in Hungary, four Western companies, Standard, Philips, Telefunken and Siemens, also built factories to save on shipping costs. Those factories were nationalised in 1949, and none of those companies have re-established a factory in Hungary since then. 

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András Tarnóczy - Photo: Attila Domokos

Which pieces are you most proud of? 
One is a 1941 Orion 177 AG, which is also a decorative object. It is a real rarity and there are only a few of them in Hungary. The others did not survive the Second World War. I even have its original invoice and letter of guarantee. The other, also a 1941 piece, was made in a Czech factory that was in operation for barely six years, probably due to a bombing or its conversion to a munitions factory. I also have a ‘Pacsirta’, which is one of the longest-produced devices, brought out by Orion in 1958, two years after which Comecon took production from them. However, the ‘Pacsirta’ was still such a sought-after model that Videoton took over the entire manufacturing technology and continued to produce it until 1966. I’m actually attached to each device as I worked on them for many hours. 

The Austrian, Horniphon W796A radio, which has several special technical features and sounds like a HiFi system, has the most amazing sound quality. 

The ancestor of the hi-fi stack can also be found in the museum. What do we need to know about it? 
It is a radio combined with a Tetra 528K turntable and tape recorder, which also contains a liquor cabinet. It was manufactured by Telefongyár Rt. in 1958. Only a limited number were made, but it was not intended for the average civilian home as its price was equivalent to the six-month salary of a trained worker. It was seen mainly in ministries, county council offices and military headquarters. 

Do they still contact you to repair an old piece? 
Yes, I have many people contact me from abroad. It is all the rage to have old radios as antique furniture. They brought me one today and I'm trying to get it to sound again. I also have some pieces that I restored and kept which didn’t become part of my collection. If someone comes to buy them, then I will sell them. 

If you were approached by an interested party, would you sell the entire collection? 
I have been approached already, but the purchase fell through because they wanted to cherry pick certain radios from the collection. I told them they could buy all of them, or none. Then there was a buyer to whom I said yes: the Kuny Domokos Museum bought the entire collection four years ago. The offer came at just the right time, as I am 85 years old and I have been preoccupied with the thought of what will happen to the radios after I am gone. We signed the sale and purchase agreement four years ago, which included a clause that the exhibition would remain here in my home, in Tardos, for the rest of my life and that, as long as I was able, I would welcome visitors. If I can’t cope any more, I will let them know and they will take the exhibition away. It is reassuring and gratifying to know that the radios, which were the realisation of my childhood dream, will go to a good place. 

I looked for the talking man inside them and I found him. It’s a wonderful thing to be able, through them, to hear a person on the other side of the world. 

It makes me very happy to share my passion with others. I have already had visitors from more than fifteen countries and I also have a guestbook with beautiful entries in different languages. The most beautiful entry was written in Cyrillic letters by a Russian lady, who actually got very emotional when  I played her a Dunayevsky composition. Because I’ve been alone for three years, visitors are my connection to the outside world, so I welcome them while I am able. 

– Did psychology start to pick up before the regime change or were all efforts thwarted?
– To answer that question, we must journey back into the history of the profession. We need to go back to the period following 1945. Before the war, there were renowned psychology workshops operating in Hungary. There were psychoanalysts, research medical psychologists such as the famous Lipót Szondi, and academic psychologists, many of whom, becoming persecuted and in fear of their lives, had to emigrate to save themselves. After the great losses, it was difficult to create a chance for the profession to survive.

Psychology was able to quietly evolve in Lipótmező, in the then ‘National Institute of Neurology and Mental Medicine’.

In 1948, István Benedek ((grandson of Elek Benedek: the editor), who had earlier pursued instinctive diagnostic research as a colleague of Lipót Szondi, founded a psychology laboratory. Several of the psychoanalysts found refuge there. In 1951, the political leadership broke up the evolving psychological activities, removed the staff, and the psychology laboratory was closed. Following the Soviet scientific debates, the infamous Rákosi era made a heavy attack on psychological pedagogy, i.e., ‘pedology’, in Hungary too; psychology was expelled from the system of sciences as a ‘bourgeois pseudoscience’ in our country, too.

– Did they not believe in it or did they fear it?
– Clearly, they feared it! Under the communist regime, the authorities needed people who were loyal to the system, who did not think for themselves. At the time, it was not the clinical field that was under attack, as it barely existed, but the pedological trend which is, practically, a breath of psychology in educational work, to not only educate but also shape personality, and to educate free-spirited, free-thinking, autonomous persons. The communist dictatorship feared autonomous thinking, thus they made psychology impossible, alongside many other things. A Hungarian pedologist Ferenc Mérei was also condemned. The use of the tests was prohibited. The profession of ‘psychologist’ became redundant and its activities were persecuted.

Until 1956, the proletarian dictatorship was in a state of ‘rage’.

– Could we say that the representatives of the profession were persecuted?
– Silencing, prohibition and the quasi-destruction of psychology resulted in a state of suspended animation. Well-known professionals had to leave their original professions, Magda Marton, for example, being switched to air purity research with animal experiments. By 1956, very few traces of the profession’s operation remained, which can also be laid at the door of the servants of the system. 1956 was the era of revolution, of the great reorganisation. It was followed by Kádár's soft dictatorship, in which spiritual life was determined by the principles of ‘prohibition, tolerance, support’. It was then that psychology began to wake from its coma. It was rehabilitated as a science in 1958 and began to be taught in universities. Then, in 1963, applied psychology training was launched. From then on, a wonderful, flowering process began, which I would describe as the psychological history era of the ‘shining breezes’. Enthusiasm, activity, voluntary service and the construction of the profession began. The clinical field was reborn, though again only in Lipótmező.

– When did you become an active participant and influencer of that process?
– Practical psychology, which puts psychological knowledge at the service of people, was revived in 1963. I hadn’t been admitted to university before because of my origins, which in the end brought me luck as I was among the first to graduate in the clinical field.

In 1964, Ferenc Mérei founded the laboratory on the second floor room of the National Institute of Neurology and Mental Medicine, which then became the cradle of Hungarian clinical psychology training.

We had to go to him for practice because he was forbidden to teach at a university as he had been to prison. We all looked up to him! He was constantly doing creative work. It is typical of the man that, while in prison, by the light of a torch and using a pencil stub, he wrote the four volumes of the ‘Psychological Journal’ that, when released spread as an underground publication at the time of the ban. Mérei was a real master, he taught everything with absolute care, while also improving his own professional personality.

– How did it feel to graduate among the first in this study programme? How do you get a job in an field in which the infrastructure had not yet even properly formed?
– After graduation, we began to infiltrate into areas of practice, though our employers had no idea about what kind of creature a psychologist was. Therefore, initially, some unworthy situations did arise. Sometimes we even sent with the patients to sweep the yard! We had to prove that we had a great deal of knowledge and were beneficial to health care. By 1977, we managed to gain the first professional decree, the Decree of the Minister of Health 38/1977 (Eü.K 25), which defined the psychologist. For the ten years between 1974 and 1984, ‘Psychotherapy Weekends’ were run and psychotherapists and psychologists worked together to teach psychotherapy theory and practice. In 1980, the ‘Hungarian Psychological Association’ was established as a separate entity independent from neurology. Independence helped us too, to flourish. The ‘Clinical Psychology Section’ was established, including the methodology working groups which were the forerunners of the later associations. At that time, Lipótmező, as the National Institute of Psychiatry and Neurology, was also the centre and ‘citadel.’ From the very beginning, we undertook things there that are unthinkable today.

– What kind of things?
– We reproduced important, new and, till then, missing psycho-diagnostic materials and standardized tests, and disseminated practical tools and methods. I gave birth to my twins in 1969, but did not give up my professional job. I was in such a fortunate position that my husband and I took turns helping each other in our professional and scientific work so, if I had an important task, he took on my mother role, and vice versa. My colleagues and I knew that we were under secret police surveillance and that files were being kept on us. For example, informants came to Psychotherapy Weekends and reported on us.

They wanted to check that we were not organizing any kind of political movement under the pretext of psychological gatherings.

– Were there any regulations in place before the change of regime that set a framework for psychologists?
– As I have said, by the ’70s, we gained a decree which defined the profession of ‘psychologist’. That determined who could call themselves a psychologist and the activities their qualifications entitled them to perform. Over twenty years we achieved everything important for the development of a profession: we had a basic decree, a professional training decree, a Chamber, a Vocational College - and then, in 1989, all decrees were repealed and everything was re-regulated, only they forgot about us!

Whatever government there has been since the change of regime, each has rejected our most basic request: to this day, there is no public record of who is a psychologist.

We are even unable to create a simple contact list because there is no accessible database of graduate psychologists. We have been fighting for our own Chamber since 1989, but last year we had had enough and gave up the fight.

– Who has no interest in psychologists having a strong advocacy organisation?
– Governments came and went, and we fought tirelessly to have a Chamber, but in the end, someone always stopped us. We once got to the point where a draft bill was submitted to Parliament, but it was withdrawn at the last minute. Numerous lawyers and professionals have worked hard for it, and we have no idea who decided the night before that there would be no debate on something that had already been approved at the cabinet meeting. For years, within our profession we all assured each other that there would be a chamber law, there would be a register, there would be regulation and we would finally know who could call themselves a psychologist. We have been hoping for years, since even hunters or, e.g., herbalists can have a Chamber - so why cannot fifteen thousand psychologists have one? There is some clear development within the boundaries of psychology, scientific discoveries have been made, we have put a lot into practice and we really have no reason to be shy - but why are we not allowed to regulate?

– Are there too many self-appointed psychologists giving advice?
– Since 1995, coaching has also reached us, fast-track courses are held in many areas, and the market has been flooded with dubiously accredited training courses.

There are many people in their forties who are in a mid-life crisis, tired of working in their own profession, who take a coaching course, and then later make money with it. They try to be smart without having any idea about things!

They advise, while the essence of psychology is that you help when you can help shed light on that which is inside the other person. If they are anxious, you reduce their anxiety, release their mind and help them find their own strength. I do not criticize the title because there is also accredited university coach training, there are postgraduate trained mental health professionals and university graduate kinesiologists. There are really good courses, but their trainees cannot pursue the same activity as a qualified psychologist.

– Does that mean that no one checks the background knowledge someone who is performing psychologist tasks?
– Nobody checks anything. Maybe they ask for the degree in order to set the pay grade. Although there are no positions in the clinic, still, the clinical specialization is the most regulated, though much more would be needed! We have no interest representation, no title and no field definition. There is no control over who can put up a sign on their door that they are doing psychology consultations, because there is no regulation to refer to. The person may say,“Please, I’m not doing therapy, I’m teaching psychology!” and just continue the activity. It is incredible how many fake psychologists are operating! When development accelerates, it works like a river, depositing sediment on the shore. This is a time when there is a lot of sediment and a clean-up is extremely necessary!

What continually strive for is the protection of clients who are unsuspecting and act in good faith, as the reputation of the entire profession can be damaged by a self-appointed, pseudo-professional. I dare not even mention the black economy!

– You often mention your masters, Ferenc Mérei, Lívia Nemes, the successor teachers of Szondi and many other famous Hungarian professionals. What role do masters play in the cleansing process? Can someone become a good psychologist if they have not had an authority in their life to show all that cannot be learned from e-learning?
– The model, the master is very important! We live in a culture where the ideal image of man is very loose and authority is lost. Today we live in an age of eternal youth where the trend is to not grow old. The world has become very materialistic and qualities, i.e., social and emotional factors, are forced into the background. Too much emphasis is placed upon the material axis, while the vertical, spiritual dimension, where I can place only the ‘quality’ of people, continues to shrink. In recent years, I have not been very positive about the situation in the profession. I serve in silence, I do what I am able. It hurts that there is enormous destruction of prestige and, unfortunately, it doesn’t look like any change of direction is  going to occur in the near future.

"I was quite small in South Africa, so I mainly remember the local fauna, which I found very interesting, we went back on a safari when I was about twenty to relive the memories," says Dorottya, the daughter of the water polo coach Péter Szilágyi. - “In New Zealand, however, I took part in my first pool trainings at the age of six, and my father became my trainer, because we lived in those places as he worked there. In the meantime, I also tried other sports: I played netball, which is similar to basketball and is very popular there, and I also did gymnastics. I arrived in Australia after a detour in Hungary as a ten-year-old, so it was perhaps the most significant places in my childhood. Here, in addition to other sports, I also picked up diving, though, after an injury, I had to decide which sport to give my full energy without endangering the others. I chose water polo, but at the age of fourteen I also stopped that for a while.”

At first she was quiet

It might have been a kind of adolescent rebellion for Dorka to spend her time with her grammar school friends for two years instead of her earlier two training sessions a day, sometimes going running to maintain her rhythm. She says that those two, more relaxed years, were necessary for her later success just because the variety broke the monotony of competitive sports, for her then, still very young, self. She then rediscovered her long-unseen love, water polo. At that time, events around her accelerated as, at the age of sixteen she was invited to play in Dunaújváros, Hungary - her future coach, Attila Mihók, travelling to Australia to personally convince her of the benefits of switching and moving. The athlete, who had previously been invited to the Australian national team of her age group, also sought the advice of her sister, with whom she had been playing water polo for many years and, finally embarked on the great adventure, packed up and came home.

"The transition was not smooth, because, before, we only spoke Hungarian in our home and used English everywhere else”.

“For months, I barely dared to speak Hungarian here at home. I talked almost only to my American teammates because it bothered me that others laughed at my accent. Even if they didn’t do it out of malice, just finding it cute how I expressed myself and pronounced the words. To build my self-confidence, I had to watch lots of Hungarian films and read in Hungarian, although I only made slow progress with books in Hungarian rather than in English. In the long run, it also helped that communication took place in Hungarian in the changing room, so I got used to it,” Dorottya recalls the difficulties of integration. She then went through Hungarian national teams of different ages and has been playing in the adult national team since 2017. She has medals and near-medal results, but an outstanding success - big international finals, or even a win at one - is still missing from her collection. So she has motivation for the years to come.

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Dorottya Szilágyi with her father, Péter Szilágyi

Now she at home in Hungary

The coming period does not seem easy for the family because, although her father, Péter, returned home as a coach and Dorka as an athlete, her Hungarian mother and sibling still live in Australia. The story of the latter - Victoria, eighteen months older than Dorottya, is also extraordinary. After stopping active sports, she was studying to be a psychologist at one of the best universities in Western Australia, but her first child was born before she graduated, so she ‘chose’ motherhood. Because of her little girl’s allergies, she started working on the topic of healthy eating, so she became an influencer in that area, selling her own hand made – ‘all-free’ – products, and managing companies’ social sites. She lives with her family, in Margaret River, on a farm where stray animals, such as kangaroos, are also taken in and adopted out. In her spare time, Victoria also paints.

"Normally we meet once or twice a year; I usually spend Christmas in Australia and they mostly come to Hungary in the summer," says the water polo player, who also spent some time playing in the Eger team in Hungary, before returning to Dunaújváros. -

Interestingly, as a teenager, we weren’t the closest of sisters, although now I look up to my sister as my role model and, of course, now that we live so far apart, we value each other highly and we miss each other.

Maybe the distance was necessary for that as, when I was a teenager, I also needed a break from water polo before I could start loving it again. And where is my real home? After moving, I went home to Australia for a few years, but now that has changed and, for a long time, I have felt I am at home in Hungary. I am also planning my future here although, if it were up to me, I would swap the two countries’ climates. When winter comes to Hungary and the days get shorter and colder, I miss the continuous sunshine of Australia. Summer is everything to me, though, of course I have managed to adapt to the weather here.”

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Dorottya Szilágyi

Bad things don't affect her

Of course, Dorka still misses her mother a lot. The last time she saw her was in January, when she travelled home to support her at the European Championships in Budapest. Last year, and this year too, the Christmas trip is missing, with online contact being more in focus, especially during the epidemic even, as she says, her mom is her best friend. And she has got closer to her father, too, thanks to the fact that they worked together for two years in the Eger team where, at the time, Péter was second coach, though he since become the head coach. They also agreed not to talk about water polo at home, and there were no separate father-daughter conversations during the training sessions, but on the team bus, at joint lunches and dinners, it felt good to be together in the sports environment and to work toward the same goal. If the Eger club had not been forced this year to give up its best players for financial reasons, including Dorka - for whom it was important to continue training in a leading team in preparation for the Olympics, Péter would not have taken on the head coach position while his daughter was a member of the team. His daughter believes that the Hungarian national team will win the right to participate in the Olympics in the qualifying tournament due in early 2021, especially if her positive attitude is also shared by her team mates.

 "Perhaps that is what I brought with me from the countries where I was raised: the optimistic, smiling, happy outlook on life of Australians and New Zealanders."

“I feel like I am more naive than most Hungarians, I see the good in everything, I am not greatly influenced by bad things and I do not despair, whatever happens. I’m less sad or angry than my acquaintances, which obviously drives me forward in sports too. However, I’ve also become more realistic as, since I’ have lived here, I no longer believe so much in fairy tales. At the age of 16, I suddenly had to grow up; I remember my mom, at the last minute, showing me how to use a washing machine, for example. As much as I miss her, it is so good that so many of my relatives, my grandparents on both sides and my cousins, with whom I really enjoy spending time, live here, that is, in Eger. My partner plays basketball in Nyíregyháza, though compared to Australia, that is no distance and we manage to meet frequently. It's worth it because, with him, I can be an even better person. Anyway, this country is amazing. I love living here at home and moving back was the best decision of my life!

- I read an interview with your brother, in which he mentions, with appreciation, that you got up at five o’clock every day from when you were in the fifth form at school. Did you also regard it as a great sacrifice?
- I don’t really remember what it was like when I didn’t have to get up early, but I clearly remember when I first went to morning training.

The teams were made up by age group and, as a young girl I always wanted to swim with the older ones, I thought it was really cool that they trained in the morning too.

My grandfather was my coach and, although many people think he was strict with me, he always tried to hold me back and protect me a little. He said, for example, that I need not be there at six, it could be half past six for me, but I refused to do that. In the end, we agreed on quarter past six, though of course I was still there at six. I remember that it was still dark, but it seemed so exciting. Then, as the charm of the novelty passed, that part was no longer so appealing. I always found it hard to get up, so in the evening I used to prepare my clothes for the next day so that I could sleep longer and opened my eyes five minutes before I had to leave. Mom made me hot cocoa and Dad took me to training, especially in the winter. Later, I rode I often travelled by bike and on my scooter.

- Your grandfather was not the only coach who was also close to you in private life". Your former husband was also your coach and I have just read that maybe your present partner will be next. It seems as if you don't need a coach so much as you need someone to hold a mirror for you, to identify with you...
- The most important thing is to see both the goals and the work to be invested in them as equally important. When things didn’t go well, often the problem was that that was not the case. With Grandpa, I got used to us inspiring each other and that he represented the same determination and awareness he expected of me as a swimmer. Still, I wanted to have another coach so I wouldn’t feel even the slightest sign of favoritism. By the way, I also went to a six-grade grammar school because my mom taught at the primary school attended. That freedom was important to me. At the same time, it was very difficult to someone to whom my goals were as important as they were to my grandfather and for me.

- You mean, to find someone who gives can reinforce your momentum and determination when needed?
- That may sound cruel, but it's hard to work with someone who needs to be pulled. If one only gives 80 percent, the other can’t provide the remaining twenty percent well. As a teenager, that was my biggest problem in swimming, though I only discovered it later. If something isn’t important to my environment, then I’m not motivated either.

- You said in an interview that if you train less one day, you have such remorse the next day that you work three times harder. And that you remember that, on the other side of the world, maybe a potential opponent is getting into the pool right now. Don’t you have any remorse about cancelled competitions?
- It is there even now, don't worry! I feel that I have a lot of time right now and I could do a lot of things that I couldn’t at other times. I feel I am not exploiting it.

- Before the interview, laughing, you said that if you had a dog, you would want it to be the most beautiful, clever and smart, but you didn’t have the time to achieve that, therefore you would rather not have one. I remembered you once saying that if you had a family, you would stop competing because you wouldn’t want to take time away from them. Are you a maximalist in everything?
- I recently found out that I am! A year or two ago I laughed at anyone who said that, even though many did, including my family.

I always felt like I was still very far from the maximum, I thought they were just saying that because they wanted to be kind.

At the same time, I also had to realise that some people like to take advantage of it, knowing that, if they entrust me with something, it will be the best it can be. Only that is very tiring.

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Photo: László Emmer

- Clearly, you have a definite list of priorities.
- Yes! Swimming comes first, and I subordinate everything to it, though family, friends, my personal relationship is very important. Not just the time we spend together, but rather to be a steady, fixed point for them. So they can count on me. At the very end of the list, I have cleaning at home. I’m happy to do it, but somehow I never feel like it’s finished and there’s not enough time to feel like I’ve done it perfectly. I defend myself against that by just letting it go, refusing to do it, in fact, I don’t even look at it. So I don't stress myself.

- Swimming is at the top of your list, although it’s obviously not just about jumping into the pool.
- Yes, I feel like everything I’ve achieved only has worth if I can use it for something. If I can inspire others because the medals are not just achievements; that alone is no longer enough. Everything related to that takes first place.

- When did you start to feel that victory alone was not enough?
- It wasn't a moment. Krisztina Egerszegi was my role model with my grandad at the time and, when Ági Kovács won in Sidney, I knew I wanted to be an Olympic champion, because then what it meant to me was that I would be the best. When I got close to being on the podium, I realized that in order to be the best in the world, I had to swim a world record. That became my main goal after the London Olympics. That’s when I realized that you also need a lot of luck for an Olympic championship title.

I read somewhere that you are less likely to be an Olympic champion than to win the lottery.

- Well, in my case, for sure. But in the case of Katinka Hosszú, the odds are different. And while you can’t do much for to win the five number lottery, you put in a lot of work for the title.
- Sure, there's some truth in that. I thought I was the best in the world and London was a big disappointment because I didn’t live up to my own expectations. In 2015, I swam my first big pool world record and then I believed there that I was the best. That was the greatest experience to me. While training for the Rio Olympics I regarded it more as marketing than a real milestone. By then, I had talked to many Olympic champions who told me that being an Olympian does not change either your world or you yourself. As a child, I sort of imagined that we became heroes after the Olympics. I would also like to tell that to those who are preparing for the Olympics, because children have a dream and subordinate everything to it, and then there are a lot of depressed Olympic champions. That is a topic discussed by many in the America, including Michael Phelps. I’m grateful that I only became an Olympic champion when I was 27, when I already understood what it meant. Now I can say from personal experience that it does not change the world.

- But the world record is always changing. That is, the feeling of ‘I'm the best’ also fades away. With that, did you also accept that you are not just a swimmer?
- Yes! From swimming, I learned a lot about dealing with difficult situations and about myself and, from that, everything can be translated into everyday situations. I’m not saying that I can handle myself perfectly yet, but I know myself better than most thirty-year-olds. When millions expect results from you, you are forced into situations where you have to face yourself.

- Talking of Liliana Szilágyi, you once said you were on good terms but you did not give each other advice, because you are also opponents. How do you draw such boundaries? Is it easy, at all, to exclude the will to win from your private life?
- It is very hard. Somehow, I always thought that I am an easy person because I can be influenced and I am flexible. But I came to realize that if I think something, it has to be that way.

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Photo: László Emmer

- Yes, we still remember when you tore that ten million check in two in front of the press ...."
- It had a serious background, we specifically told Tamás Gyárfás that we should see who was the stronger. And don’t take that sentence either to mean that Liliana and I are friends or going to dinner together. By the way, the will to win is not easy in private life either, I have to hold myself back in everyday situations. When I sit in a car, for example, if someone invites me to race it can be dangerous.

My siblings and I also competed in everything in our childhood: in eating, in who could get up from the TV to their room first.

Now I try to get everyone to compete with me because there are no competitions now, so there is no challenge. Some agree to compete, others don’t.

- The fact that you have arranged a one-year grant for the serious preparation, in the International Swimming League for 320 young swimmers under the current circumstance suggests that you can be very selfless in regard to others, even future competitors.
- Don't imagine that in a competition I want to crush my opponent. If they are not in top form, there's no point in racing. I’ve experienced many things in swimming and I see exactly what could be done better. It feels good that I invented this grant and I discussed it all with the best swimmers in the world. This is what gives me a lot now, this is the gain of the Olympic title.

- You courageously appear in the tabloid media, even though you’ve been thoroughly scrutinised many times. You are also open about your new relationship, including providing photos. Aren't you afraid of the publicity?
- A lot of things were published about me that weren’t true or were only half-true, but were written with a negative tone. At the same time, I can state that, today, I might regard the world differently to how I did a few years ago, and that I am only human, I can be wrong. I struggled a lot to reach the point of saying that they can write what they want, I don’t care. When our divorce started in 2017-18, it was very difficult to make a statement about it because it’s only easy if you know exactly who you are, what you want and what you represent. But if you, too, are full of questions and you are not left alone, it’s very difficult. Then they add yet another twist and write something that’s a lie and present you as someone you’re not, and then it’s too late to refute it. It took a long time for me to realize that I didn’t have to know about everything that appeared about me, I didn’t have to have an answer to everything. And that people don’t know the answer to everything at all. And that’s acceptable. It hurt me that I couldn’t sit down to talk to the people who wrote false things about me. I think we would have left as different people.

- I think the love of the fans reaches you too. A couple of months ago, some little girls were traveling with their training gear to Margaret Island on the tram, and one was heard to say, “I’m going to train with Katinka”, with her eyes sparkling eyes just like yours with your smile now.
- Yes, it feels really good. However, there is obviously an image of Katinka Hosszú that is no longer quite me. I try to make sure that the most important values remain in the image, and I try to control that. For example, I really look up to basketball player LeBron James, who isn’t just a fantastic player; I like that he opened an agency with his friends, opened a school back where he came from and he gives back the positive things that make him much more than a successful athlete. However, the image I have of him may not be exactly the same as the real LeBron James.Of course, I would love to get to know him better personally, it would be good to talk to him, but I am really helped by the LeBron James I built for myself. I hope there are such images of me as well. People know you swim very well, but it's hard to really show yourself even on your own platform

- What do you want to show of yourself?

- I can be very funny. I always post about hard work and achievement, but often I am also relaxed and humorous.

- We got to know that side of you after the photography, though in the beginning, it was as if you experienced this as a serious task, watching, and concentrating like a professional model, which also surprised the photographer.
- I always listen to photographers to see what suits me; I like it when we work fast and as efficiently as possible and when everyone goes home afterwards feeling that it was a good photo shoot.

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Photo: Tamás Páczai

- Did the restrictions due to the epidemic change your daily routine?
- I was lucky to be able to train, and the national team is also training this week. Still, I have a lot more time, I can sleep more, I am much more relaxed and I read a lot.

- What are you reading now?
- Many autobiographical books about tennis players such as Rafael Nadal, Andre Agassi, Marija Sharapova...

- Studies for your portrait film now being made?
- A bit, because I've been watching the documentaries. And I love psychological-philosophical topics. Recently, for example, I read Man’s search for meaning by Victor E. Frankl. The author is a psychologist who survived Auschwitz but lost his friends and his pregnant wife.

He writes that you can be happy in any situation if you can find the meaning and essence of your life, your suffering. I read it at the beginning of the quarantine, and I thought it was really appropriate.

I hope this epidemic triggers changes in all of us, it would be good if the world slowed down a bit. I had to slow down a bit too. Because life is running away.

Is there anything you don't want from your previous life anymore, or a lesson from quarantine?
- Video conferences, for example, are very useful. If I have a half-hour online meeting, it’s really half an hour, not one and a half or two, as it was with the travelling and the preparation. That way we have more time for the important things.

- Did you miss being at home, too?
- To be honest, I haven't had much of a home so far. I will have one now. Maybe it was a bit intentional so that I wouldn’t wish to be at home, I didn’t want to be attached because I knew I had to travel all the time and even when I was home, I just went there to sleep. Now is the time to change that.

- A portrait film is being made about you at the age of thirty. What does it feel like?
- Things like that are hard to digest, though I'm happy about it, it's a great honour. True, I am sometimes loud, but I was basically a very shy girl, so I worked a lot to reach this level. Yet I am also the little girl who blushes at a family meal for ten when addressed by the others.

This documentary is a great new challenge in my life, it urges me to get to know myself as we’re going over my life and career and during filming I come face to face with myself.
But this film is also important to me because of others. I hope that it will be a production that gives people strength, encourages them to achieve their goals and helps them in difficult situations, as well. The shooting is especially fun, it's interesting to see behind the scenes of the filming and I'm excitedly looking forward to the final result.

– What do you think about family policy in Hungary, is it comparable to Brazil?

– I think we're on a similar path in many ways. Families are in the focus of our national strategy adopted at the end of last year, just as Hungary pays special attention to them. Moreover, although there are those who try to make your constitution extreme or radical, the Brazilian constitution similarly protects the institution of marriage. We have a category called stable union that treats life partners in the same way as married couples in terms of property rights, but our constitution makes it clear: marriage is between a woman and a man.

– Hungary also helps large families with tax benefits and home creation programs. Do you think this direction is right?

– We would be happy to take over these measures, but unfortunately our budget does not allow it. I think it’s all real support for families, not some kind of paternity over them, as the government gives them autonomy. I know that after the communist regime, Hungary started from scratch again, and even in the early 2000s it struggled with economic problems. It is only in the last decade that the goal of embracing large families has been set, and this is being implemented effectively. You give them a foundation on which to build a successful society in the long run. There are many who are trying to build a society from the top down, but I think what you do is much more correct: you give a chance to people to develop from the bottom up. I fully agree with the principle that a government not only gives something to a social group, but also encourages it to work, because that is how people will be autonomous, free, responsible. Hungary supports those who build the nation. Your tax policy is also pointing in the direction that the future belongs to families.

– What are the biggest family policy challenges in Brazil right now?

– The previous government interfered too much in people's lives, in addition, it favoured individuals, but did not steer them in the right direction. To counter this, we have launched a campaign to prevent unwanted teenage pregnancies and increase sexual awareness, for example. To enable parents within the family to educate their children well in this matter. I believe that gender ideology has been spun over from an early age, with children encountering sexuality too early and in the wrong way. It’s normal for people to long for love, feel the importance of family, no one wants to grow old alone, but oversexualization is the point that leads to broken families. The fact that people are willing to think with us about the solution is good news. That is why we launched the “strong families” program, which is designed to strengthen and rethink relationships within the family. Our goal is to maintain parental cooperation and intergenerational solidarity, as well.

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Angela Gandra

– How easy or difficult is it to implement such an attitude-forming program in your huge country?

– All of our states and districts are free to decide how to join the central program at the local level. In another campaign, which also covers the whole country, we place great emphasis on the conscious management of content on the Internet, especially on social media. We try to show how technology can affect children and how parents can prevent the harmful effects. Because both television and Internet content are overly sexual in nature, contributing to the spread of domestic violence, paedophilia, suicide, and even self-mutilation. We see that people are excited about our initiatives, but at the same time, the biggest challenge is to reduce media noise, because the press products are the loudest that operate with dubious money, for example from the sex industry. They create fake news and negative sensations, snatch words from their context. It’s not fair, but we go further, we do our thing. And I believe that the people are with us, as are the Hungarians with the Hungarian government.

– Your ministry is also responsible for women's affairs – how do you see the situation of Brazilian women?

– They have to face violence in too many cases. Yet our constitution also states that women and men are equal. This should be the case in homes as well! We must fight to ensure that the voices of women are heard so that they find a worthy place in society, even in political life. Our ministry is also working on this, but we are not taking this mission as a war, we are trying to do it in an elegant way. Not with negative messages, but by building a dialogue between women and men, in consultation with different sections of society, the legislature, employers. We are equal, yet the wealth of society is given by our difference. We need to work together because the most beautiful picture together is when we complement each other, not face each other. That is why we do not claim our rights by shouting, undressing ourselves, but in a subtle way that is worthy of us. Because together with women and men, the superstructure in which we live can be a masterpiece. If we were to expect the same role from everyone, we would destroy society. We agree on many things, but the secret of happiness is to live who we are, our own endowments.

– If you have already mentioned both sexes, what do you think about the role of men in the family and society?

– Their role must also be approached fairly, equitably, which means more than equality. Roles should always be respected given the circumstances. Men are extremely important in the lives of their children, they set an example, they are a point of reference. That’s why it’s important to spend time with their family at home, not just their work. Not only should they make money, but they should also have responsibilities around the house. I don’t think it’s to be followed that the woman takes care of the kids and runs the household, the man just earns the money for it. Here, too, we are trying to make people more aware. The household also has a shared responsibility. A good mother and a good father are irreplaceable in the lives of children, no one can play their parenting role in their place. Both tasks are special, so it’s important that both the woman and the man give their best. And the government should create the conditions for this.

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Angela Gandra

– And what does patriotism mean to you, how important is it for Brazilians to serve a wider community, their nation?

– Patriotism is an essential feature of a good citizen who wants to do for his country. As our president puts it: the nation is above us and God is above all. It is in this spirit that we work for our culture, for our many beautiful traditions, and it is the responsibility of families to pass these on between the generations. Within a nation, we are all a large family with the same background, but we do not define ourselves against other cultures. We respect others because if we didn’t, it would no longer be patriotism, but nationalism. There is no such thing as my nation being better than yours. We need to understand, we need to accept each other. Countercultures do not act against certain cultures, but against humanity. At the same time, patriotism brings out good things, it’s a beautiful gift. It’s part of our identity that we didn’t choose, we were born into. We must live with an open heart, respecting the rights of others. However, Brazilians are perhaps overly cosmopolitan, which is why we are trying to emphasize the importance of patriotism with the President.

– Because of the coronavirus, a lot is changing in the world. What direction do you think we are heading?

– I believe that we are moving from individualism to solidarity. This is needed, as is intergenerational cooperation. So maybe we'll be more human. Tight families now have more together because of the home office, so they need to find a balance between work and private life. We realize who are the ones who need us. Unfortunately, we lose others, but maybe that also brings out human things from us. We must also try to turn difficulties to our advantage, because suffering can make a person better by learning from it. This is a serious lesson in solidarity. Of course, some of the media still weighs in on the negative news, but don’t worry about it! Rather, let’s look at how we can help each other, how we can be responsible citizens, family members. If so, a better world could come.

About Angela Vidal Gandra da Silva Martins
The Secretary of State of the Brazilian Ministry of Women, Family Affairs and Human Rights holds a law degree from the University of São Paulo, a master’s degree in philosophy of law and a doctorate from the Federal University of Rio Grande do Sul. He is a visiting professor and researcher at Harvard University, specializing in legal and philosophical anthropology. He is a lecturer in Roman law and the introduction of philosophy of law, a former partner of the Gandra Martins Law Firm. He is a member of the FECOMERCIO Supreme Legal Council, the Brazilian Academy of Philosophy and the Legal Letters Academy in Sao Paulo. He teaches at the CEU Faculty of Law, and is president of the Ives Gandra Institute of Law, Philosophy and Economy.

Kata: During the quarantine, we walked a lot in Leányvár in the evenings. Usually, we made our way to the cross on the outskirts of the village, and we came to realize how good those walks felt to us both. What motivated us most was that last year, we underwent a major relationship crisis. We attended counseling, which helped and, as we did not want therapy to be the great joint adventure of our marriage, we wanted to overwrite that with some powerful experience.

Do you feel that counseling was a good preparation?

Kata: In a relationship that is in acute crisis, a joint pilgrimage is unlikely to be a good idea because critical things might only deepen more under extreme conditions. I read about one pilgrim couple who argued all the way.

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You always have to go point to point on the ‘Via Mariae’ (Sár Hill, Anna Chapel)

What was easy and what was hard to leave home?

Gábor: For me, I think it was easier because I didn’t think about its significance. My tactic was that, once we had made the decision, we would also arrange the details, work, children, the home, and the garden.
My dad is over ninety years old and has been paralyzed for a couple of years. He uses a wheelchair and we can’t telephone him because his hearing is very bad. That’s why we took stamps with us and sent him regular postcards.

Did everyone support your plans?

Kata: We asked our children for permission to leave them for five weeks in the summer when decent parents take their children on vacation. Our older sons and our 11-year-old daughter let us go on condition that they would not be under the supervision of their grandparents but would be independent. They managed very well and we are proud of them. Our 18-year-old son even paid attention to the emotional needs of his siblings. Not everyone was enthusiastic though, I was slightly hurt that some people in our family were skeptical and started listing impediments rather than encouraging us. But, by then, we had already decided to go.

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At the Sacred Heart Viewpoint in Székely Land (Gordon Height, 958 m)

Gábor has always been a great hiker, Kata is less enthusiastic about under canvass excursions. Does that also mean that Gábor was the leader and inspirer the whole time?

Kata: Yes, the classic male-female dynamics were re-established somewhat between us... He planned and followed the route and I could always rely on him. And sometimes he also carried my, much lighter, backpack, too.
Gábor: The key to success was not to complicate anything, but to help her. For the first two weeks, we had some leeway on planning the trip but on the Transylvanian section, we had to keep the schedule tighter. Meals also required planning. Once, we heard that a Village Hall had a well-equipped kitchen, and indeed it had: equipped with a hundred plates and forks -but no cooking pot, so we baked the planned ‘lecsó’ on a baking tray in the gas oven. In the end, it turned out so delicious that we decided to always make it that way in the future.
Kata: We prepared ourselves for the eventuality of sleeping on the veranda of an empty holiday home or in a bus shelter if we could not find accommodation, but that was not necessary. Yet there were scary parts.

In Székely Land, you must watch out for bears, but passing through areas protected by large, angry sheepdogs was an even more realistic danger. Then, Gábor was indeed a classic, strong protective man.

Is a strong man not afraid in such situations?

Gábor: I wouldn’t say that, but one tries to adapt dynamically to situations. For example, people have completely contradictory beliefs about sheepdogs. The goal, in short, was to be able to pass without being bitten. In the end, we always managed it ... I did not give in to weakness, thinking that Kata needed my care now to be able to complete the trip.

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A Bánffy on the outskirts of Bánffytanya

Reliance is the basic experience of a pilgrim; you must be open not only to your partner and to the weather, but also to the local people. You arrived as strangers and often left as friends.

Kata: We didn’t expect those friendships. Many enthusiastic volunteers work on the ‘Via Mariae’, especially on the Transylvanian section. They kept passing us on and, even days later, text messages would come from a priest or the wife of a minister, asking us where we were, whether we had arrived and whether we were well.

Kata, both sides of your family comes from Transylvania and you still have active ties there. Was it important for you to conquer this land on foot, too? Was it also a journey into the past?

Kata: No, it really did happen very much in the present. When you walk overland from village to village, over hill and valley and meet the people living there, you build a particularly intimate relationship with the countryside, the country and the land. If I can put that emotional energy into my own country and also get that back from it, why would I seek the same in a foreign landscape? That’s why we are glad we didn’t choose the Camino. Even though you have studied in geography the fact that the great Hungarian Great Plain extends into today's Romania or that the sand of the Nyírség really pulls on your soles and how different it is from the clay soil, on such journeys, you experience it for yourself. Or, if you walk under the blazing sun for four days, and see only an occasional tree because you are on the Transylvanian Plain and not in a forest…

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Making friends with shepherds in Kolozs (Cluj) County

There are many anecdotes about the brevity of conversation of a person living among nature. How much did you talk?

Kata: Gábor expected that we would talk more, though I was often terribly grateful to him that we could walk in silence. At first, because I struggled a lot with pain in my leg and my frustration that I was having a hard time, I didn’t have the energy to talk much. Later, I noticed the intense processes that those struggles induced in me. And Gábor let it be. It was only at home that he said he felt we did not talk enough, and we’ve been trying to make up for it ever since.

It is very rare that a couple shares a spiritual experience. Did you succeed?

Kata: I knew the pilgrimage would be a good trip experience and I also hoped it would do our marriage good, though I never really dared set myself the goal of a real, deep, spiritual adventure. It is hard for me to declare such a thing, I fear disappointment. Even already in Rákosszentmihály, when asked, Gábor said that we were going to Csíksomlyó and I typically dared make the same declaration only in Székely Land. I wanted to avoid failure and was not sure whether we could achieve a real spiritual experience. I had to do something about that though because it was obviously not an adventure tour but a pilgrimage. Pilgrim groups pray and sing at every cross and church. When we saw the first church while walking out of Budapest, we were a little confused as to what to do…

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If a pilgrim looks up, they should always see a sign in front of them - say the Maros (Mureş) County volunteers.

Gábor: I read about an African guy who grew up in a Christian mission and, when he had to go to hospital, he was asked why he was in such a good mood. He replied that, so far, whenever had passed a church, he had looked in and said: “Hello, Jesus, Joe is here!” and now every noon he hears “Hello Joe, Jesus is here”. We paraphrased that and,

from the first day to the last, whenever we saw a cross or a church, we said, "Hello, Jesus, the Molnárs are here."

Kata: It was a joke, a gesture that started with a distant attitude, but the Holy Spirit blows wherever it wants, and that personal address has infiltrated our lives and become a reality. It induced a dialogue within us with God appearing incarnate. Anyone to whom you can say “hello, here we are” can also be told “it makes me angry that my leg hurts so much, that was not the deal, I should be able to cope better” as well as “this hilltop ridge is wonderful, thank you… ”
Gábor: Prayer intertwined with the journey, and mass with the experience of arrival.
Kata: It’s also a special kind of spirituality when you reach such a degree of freedom that all your problems can be solved with just a little water, a sticking plaster, a sandwich, a cooling breeze or a shady bench. Existing permanently at the bottom of the Maslow Pyramid is actually a very liberating experience. On the way, we also prayed a lot for others; while still at home, we had made a decision that every day would have a prayer theme and our friends also sent intentions via Messenger or text message... For example, during the five weeks, two babies were born whose parents warned us when the prayer commando had to be started…

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The inscription of the pilgrim cross on Harghita: "I am the way, the truth, and the life!"

Picture: The inscription of the pilgrim cross on Harghita: "I am the way, the truth, and the life!"

Perhaps you needed that so that you would not think of the pilgrimage as just your luxury?

Kata: I overcame the tempting thought that what we were doing was a luxury and that not everyone can afford to go away for five weeks, leaving everything behind. But if one has any remorse about that, then that anxiety will hang over the trip, making it difficult to accept the abundance of graces around you.
Gábor:… and of course, there are other kinds of anxieties, for example, whether you will succeed, will have to give up, etc.. Once you have started you need to be happy about every day, every kilometre you complete, as that helps you get over your concerns.
Kata: There is no such thing as an invalid pilgrimage, the one-day ones and the two-week ones are all ‘valid’. Even the detour. And the missed five kilometres in the centre of Miskolc, are also valid… We wanted to be present and be there, happy to be able to make a decision again and again, and to continue the journey.

I never thought for a minute that we would stop. We prayed well “Lead us not into temptation."

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Gábor Molnár and Kata Molnár-Bánffy - Kép: Tamás Páczai

Was it easy to come home?

Kata: It was great to finally see our children. At the same time, in the last days of the pilgrimage, a process of mourning began in us. Since then, barely a couple of weeks passed and the longing for the road has returned. It would be good if we could somehow incorporate it all into our lifestyles, alongside the children, work, the community, mowing the lawn and sowing the seed. We are already planning a shorter autumn trip of a few days, and have started dropping hints to our children… 

Wingzzz aims to prevent this kind of undermining of close-knit family time. This new app helps aid the development of the child’s personality, sparks their curiosity and imagination, introduces them to foreign languages, and provides parents and children with the opportunity to spend quality time together. 
We had a chat with Adrienn Újfalusi, the woman behind the app that provides a digital library of selected children’s books in Hungarian, Dutch, and English.

- What personal experience led you to create Wingzzz?
- My daughter was born seven years ago, my son three years ago. I felt, from the time they were born that even though we live in the Netherlands and we do not have many Hungarian acquaintances here, it is important that they learn their native language.

I want them to feel at home whenever they return Hungary. I knew that reading stories together is one of the most important ways to pique the interest of small children and to motivate them to develop their language skills.

Playful storytelling stimulates the use of their imagination to ’give them wings’ so to speak. Apart from this, I have very warm nostalgic feelings about projected story-book filmstrips from my own childhood. As a new mother I set out to obtain a projector and all the old slides I could remember as a youngster.  My children really enjoyed reading the magically projected stories every night, but, sadly, it wasnt long before we ran out of content. 

As a mother living abroad, finding Hungarian storybooks proved to be quite difficult. We travel to Hungary three or four times a year, and on these visits, I always raid the  bookstores, but it’s still not enough. Sometimes, when I run out of material, I translate Dutch stories to read for them. This is where the idea to make stories accessible to children in their native language, no matter where they are from. We have these services for music and films, you just get yourself a subscription and you instantly have a whole collection of content at your disposal. I felt like this solution was lacking when it comes to children’s books, especially in multiple language versions.

- You mention how imagination gives us wings: is that where the name comes from?
- Yes, to me, it’s a very important symbol. When I thought of the butterfly as a logo, I was sure that this idea had to go somewhere, it had to “take flight out of my head.” The morpho butterfly symbolizes growth and development, an unfolding that happens in each of our lives. As children, we begin as little seeds or eggs. The first 7-10 years of life are an especially sensitive and a critical period. The transformation of a toddler depends on what we “fill them up with,” the values we pass on to them. Over time they become beautiful butterflies and fly high, 

Wingzzz believes we should give kids the imagination to fly and stories are perfect for that. They decrease tension, help process problems, develop emotional intelligence, and provide examples for how to make friends and how to love one another.

- How do you choose the stories?
- We paid very close attention when choosing the stories. The three zzz’s at the end of Wingzzz on the one hand refers to falling asleep, to a state of calm and quiet. This subtly points to the fact that parents can rest easy regarding the content. On this platform, you can be sure that your children will not encounter anything that may be harmful to them, that they would find disturbing, or provide them with bad examples. Our partners are mainly publishers, but we work with authors as well. We only include the most appropriate, high-quality texts in our library.
- It is especially important for families living abroad to have children’s content available in their mother tongue and good stories are always in demand. Both Hungarians and the Dutch are open to getting to know popular stories from different cultures.

The world has gotten a lot more global and people enjoy seeing the world through one another’s eyes, especially when it comes to the world of imagination.

We are currently working on making Wingzzz available in additional languages too, in order to provide enrichment through the meeting of cultures.

- Do you emphasize classic or contemporary stories in your library?
- We want to keep a balance of content. Variety is very important. We want to have stories that fit different tastes and moods. Folktales and classic storybooks are wonderful and there are also a number of modern writers who are really in tune with the everyday lives of children and parents and take inspiration from these situations. There is room on our platform for both traditional tales and ones where the charactres are useing Skype, for instance.

- We are hearing and reading an increasing amount of discussion on the detrimental effects that the overuse of smart devices, apps and social media have on us. How do you avoid this with a digital interface?
- Digital reading interfaces complement paper-based books very well, and I trust that they will not replace physical storybooks for a very long time yet. 

However, there are situations when digital solutions just work better in order to economize space: when going on vacation or visiting grandma, it’s better not to have to carry around a bunch of books.

The pandemic has also shown how necessary these solutions are for schools. We have initiated collaborations with several Dutch schools to address this. Digital tools are just a part of life for children today. In fact, in many cases, they have come to expect having everything available to them in this form. Reading storybooks is always a good idea, but doing so digitally in no way diminishes the incredible added value that daily reading provides. In reality, the most important thing is for your child to feel your love and attention when using such a device, and Wingzzz is absolutely a suitable means for this.

- Wingzzz is constantly being expanded, not only with new story content but with sort  of accessibility lesson plan functions (a wide variety of activities, slide shows, etc. based on the stories). What determines the direction you decide to go in?
- We seek the advice of educators, narrative psychologists, and story-tellers, and we use what we learn from these conversations. In the long run, we can provide parents with guidance on what they can “also do” related to the stories, apart from just reading them aloud to your children. We would like to provide ideas for activities you can do together, ideas for spending quality time together based on the stories, We dont intend to break the tried-and-true mold of curling up with a good book but, children and parents can stay in the world of the story with things like games, baking or cooking projects, slideshows, or other adventures.

The application made its debut in June of this year. That’s when the library became available online. The current version contains Hungarian, Dutch, and English language stories, this is the first version and still needs some development. At the same time, it already contains the basics users expect from such a platform.

Our library currently contains almost 200 books but we are in a intensive development period. For the near future, we will soon be adding several hundred pieces of beautiful, high-quality story content.

- What about user feedback: what does the target audience say? How do the children feel about Wingzzz?
- My children really love it, We read from it every day. They enjoy the fact that both their mom and dad can read them the same story because it’s available in both languages. Of course, with older children, you can practice reading together as many children today are more enthusiastic about doing so on an online device. During the course of development, we emphasized the creation of an easy-to-use interface, making reading a fun experience for both the children and the parents. Kids can use the application easily too, the fact that they can choose, open the different books, flip through the pages, zoom in on an illustration, skip forward or back in a story. This all adds to the experience. We feel it was the right choice to create a calm, clean, simple interface instead of a flashy, busy one. Overall, we’ve gotten a lot of very positive feedback.

“Since my parents are restaurateurs, I always wanted to be a chef myself. My father never really wanted me to work in the profession because he was only too aware of how much effort it involved. Even so, he often took me along with him to the kitchen when I was young. I always loved the buzz there, the head chef would regularly come to me to sample one or another dish and he would always ask my opinion. As if it mattered to anybody! What I saw from adults was an important example. My grandfather was a simple villager but extremely precise: every tool had to be in its rightful place, every time. I learnt a lot from him and from my father. And mainly when my parents opened their own restaurant, Vadrózsáka, and I was able to work there as a trainee. These impressions remain vivid for me and even today I serve on plates what I remember from my childhood.”

Then for a time you travelled a long way from the security of home.
“I attended university in Bucharest then after several attempts I was taken on to a prestigious Parisian culinary school, to which my father saw me off with the admonition that I should take seriously what I am doing. I was smart enough to heed this, so much so that after the exams each chef was assigned a restaurant based on abilities, but I was offered the choice of any of them. I picked the Michelin three-star L’Arpège run by Alain Passard. It was really hard work. Not many can bear it for much more than two months, but I worked there for 18 months doing 16-18 hours a day.”

I suppose that your Szekler mentality had something to do with the fact that you could bear the strain.
“Szeklers are stubborn and persistent. I frequently returned home in the evening after work with tears in my eyes. They treated us like animals. The French don’t really pay attention to foreigners, a non-Frenchman or woman has to work two or three times harder to be noticed.

“It is the most difficult thing in the world to stand one’s own ground in a French kitchen, amongst French staff. However, I kept repeating to myself: ‘I am a Szekler, I can do it’. That helped.

“Perfectionism is my other typical characteristic. If I make a mistake with something, I have to fix it. They won’t accept you if you make a mistake in a Michelin 3-star establishment.”

But that’s not quite true. One of your mistakes has been on the menu ever since.
“Ah, that’s true… One time I accidentally poured oyster sauce over the lamb instead of the original gravy. What is more, precisely for a regular guest who ate that very dish every week for 20 years. And he liked the taste! So much so, in fact, that this variation has been on offer ever since. That said, the sous chef almost tore me to shreds when he found out what had happened. Please believe me when I say I was very sorry, even if the guest loved it. In places like this, if they don’t say anything that is praise, but if a comment is made, then there’s trouble in store. It doesn’t matter that I made something that has stayed on the menu, I was still very angry with myself.”

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Photo: Antonio Fekete

Didn’t you miss some sort of acknowledgment?
“I don’t get much praise from anyone anywhere! But it is not important what they think of me. If I have made something well then I know it and this is sufficient. It often happened that a guest was satisfied yet I myself knew that something was missing from the dish. And vice versa. Once a guest said of my dessert that it wasn’t to his taste because it contained garlic. I took his opinion on board, yet it remains the dessert of my life, no matter what anyone says.”

In your heart of hearts, what praise do you most value?
“Praise from my parents. The Michelin star brought them great joy. Perhaps there is no greater sense of happiness than when your own child is able to attain greater success than you did in the same profession. Deep in my heart I would like it if one day, if I have a child, that he/she should also take this forward and become a chef. This is my dream.”

After L’Arpege, you mostly worked in Michelin starred restaurants, and all of them abroad.
“Then came Dublin, Reading and in London the Gordon Ramsay restaurant. After that I returned home and to relax I worked with my parents for two months. At that time I didn’t really want to go abroad, I preferred to stay close to my home. This is another reason I thought of Hungary because it allowed me to return home more often. My sister works in Budapest, I visited her and I reckoned that this was the place for me. Unfortunately, even now I don’t often get time to go back to Kézdivásárhely; it is as if I lived further away. Now I’m also thinking about going home.”

There’s a huge difference between a 1000-person banquet and the fine dining of top restaurants. Do you also have creative ideas for your traditional stuffed cabbage recipe?

“I cook stuffed cabbage as it should be cooked. Many chefs rethink traditional dishes. I don’t believe they need to be reworked because they are fine as they are, it’s no accident that they have been cooked in the same way since time immemorial.

“I like to create totally new dishes, which is why I don’t make fine dining out of stuffed cabbage. In fact, I’m not a great fan of the expression anyway, I much prefer to use fun dining instead. I love being in an interaction with guests, meanwhile observing their faces. Occasionally, vermicelli from smoked celeriac made using a specialized noodle press are pushed out into guests’ soup at the table. Foreigners always liked it that this apparatus is only found here at home, and the fact that I used the same thing when helping my grandmother in the kitchen. I like giving them something to do; for example, crumbling up the green herbs frozen at minus 200 degrees in order to sprinkle them over their sorbet.”

The meeting between creator and recipient sounds as though it could be exciting.
“In France I never met the guests, it was out of the question as a junior sous chef. Here at home, however, as a chef, I could do it. I precisely wrote down everything that a waiter/waitress had to know about each dish and they told the guests accordingly. But after ten courses and dining for three to four hours, many are interested in who prepared their dinner so I often went out myself to chat to guests.”

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Photo: Antonio Fekete

Where does the inspiration come from to create new dishes?
“I am mainly inspired by my memories, French, Hungarian, Transylvanian and Romanian cuisine. I visited the forest a lot, I collected various roots, Transylvanian herbal grasses, pine, all raw ingredients they used to cook with long ago. The old Transylvanian recipes used marvellous ingredients and then came communism and this snuffed everything out. The pig and the chicken replaced the pigeon and pullet while the rest sank into oblivion. Now, the old ingredients and techniques are making a return to fine dining, with Michelin starred restaurants trying to work with them. Long ago they used to put the meat under the saddle, keeping it at 60-70 degrees all day long, then they ate it in the evening. These days the ancient ways are being brought back: fermentation, preserving. But the past and the future meet in other ways as well: at L’Arpege, they use plenty of vegetables grown in their own garden. They teach one to respect vegetables and nothing is allowed to be thrown out.

“That is, I saw in a top restaurant the same thing I saw at home, in my childhood: we have to work for vegetables, and therefore we have to appreciate every part of them.

“The root, the stem and the peel, all can be used. Let’s take mashed potato as an example! I make jacket potatoes and then I take out the inside and mash it. I return the ‘jacket’ to the oven to dry and then I put it through a coffee grinder and add it to the mashed potato. I don’t like over-spicing things, I think lamb should taste of lamb, potatoes of potato. But let’s add here that a dish only becomes truly tasty when it is made with heart and soul.”

I suppose that in the kitchen the chef is at the same time the boss.
“This is how it has to work because he/she knows how things go. Everyone has to pull together, not going in three or four different directions. The best teamwork is when everyone does what I tell them (laughs).”

What challenges do you face in your profession?
“I would like to progress to the Lyon final postponed to next June, after which I’d certainly like to continue working in a restaurant. Retreat is my goal, Western Europe no longer attracts me. In the longer term, I’d like a Michelin starred restaurant.

“I’ve heard opinions suggesting that fine dining is just fiddling about, it’s no big deal catering for just thirty people. I’ve cooked for a thousand people before. Let me tell you that the former is far harder than the latter.”

Did it ever occur to you to represent Romania at the Bocuse d’Or competition?
“Romania doesn’t participate. But even if it did, I still feel that I belong to Hungary to such an extent that I would compete under the red, white and green colours anyway. In Paris, I didn’t hear a word of Hungarian for a long time, but when finally I caught some conversation in Hungarian on the metro, tears sprang to my eyes. Kézdivásárhely is the most Hungarian of towns. Anyone who is Romanian there also speaks fluent Hungarian. The truth is, I never came across hatred between Szeklers and Romanians, even in Bucharest. Perhaps because I never looked for it. I was raised at home to accept everyone.”

If you cook for yourself, what do you prepare?
“I never cook for myself. I live alone and although I have a kitchen, I don’t use it. I eat tons of fruit, my fridge is full of it.”

What would you most like to eat at this moment?
“My favourite is my mother’s paprika chicken. With polenta and cucumber salad, that’s what I like most. When I go home, that’s what I always have. And you know what’s funny here? I tried to make it but mine was just not quite the same…”

“Right from the start, Képmás has sought answers to current social issues, conducting a genuine dialogue with individuals from the fields concerned, with a focus on respect for human life and emphasis on the irreplaceable role of families,” explains Kata Molnár-Bánffy, managing director-owner of KÉPMÁS. “The time has now arrived for us to remove the language barrier and launch the magazine’s online English language version.”

The mission of the site is to convey to the countries of Europe and the world the values of Hungarian society, its responses and its successful solutions to the difficulties faced by society. We would like to present the value-creating activities of the Hungarian people, activities which enrich all of Europe and indeed the world. As well as introducing our outstanding scientists and artists, we showcase the concerns and joys of Hungarian families preserving positive traditions, and smaller communities, intellectual workshops and individuals driving social change.

kepmas.hu is a conservative feminist magazine with credible speakers and a problem-focused approach that seeks values. Alongside its informal tone, it remains informative and, indeed, entertaining to a high standard. Its focus is on the family, relationships and bringing up children, despite which it is read by almost as many men as women. In 2018, the online magazine became a stand-alone media product alongside Képmás magazine that had at the time been printed for 16 years. With its daily updated, unique content, its own team of authors, and minimum expected standards regarding content and quality, kepmas.hu is able to be more up-to-date than print media.