“It is indescribable to experience that after you give away one of your kidneys, two new kidneys begin to develop and grow inside you”

Four years after the kidney transplant surgery, the first question almost asks itself: how are you?

Tamás: When someone’s energy level drops to zero and then they receive a completely new “battery,” they begin to soar. Plus over decades my body had grown accustomed to my kidneys shutting down, so it wasn’t even very obvious how bad my condition was. Since the transplant, however, I simply don’t stop. Noémi, on the other hand, didn’t have time to adapt to the new situation—her body experienced the loss of one kidney as a shock.

Noémi: The short answer is: we’re alive. Sometimes tired, but wonderfully so. With immense gratitude, because the arrival of a new child enriches a family in an unbelievable way. Before the surgery, Tamás had slowed down terribly: wherever we went, he would sit down and fall asleep. After the surgery, that was me. I struggled with edema for a long time and became exhausted easily. It took more than a year before I felt human again.

Everyone experiences it differently. In our case, it felt as though along with my kidney, part of my energy had also been transferred to Tamás…

It helped enormously when I was finally able to start swimming and going to the sauna regularly again. The third trimester of pregnancy and the period after childbirth put another serious strain on my body. At the same time, Tamás’s post-surgery results were — and still are — so good that his kidney function values are in a range as if he had two kidneys. Mine have also remained stable since the operation, with only slight fluctuations around pregnancy and childbirth.

How did the doctors react? And how did you experience everything?

Tamás: Thousands of patients pass through the Transplantation Clinic, and there are many positive stories. It’s a huge thing that, as spouses, our match was almost perfect — this is by no means self-evident. Nor is it self-evident that everything has gone smoothly ever since. Even for the doctors, it’s not an everyday story that Noémi went on to give birth to a baby afterward, which is why they have followed her with even greater attention and care during and since the pregnancy. When Fülöp visits the clinic, he is welcomed with immense joy and affection. Last time they brought out a little toy race car for him, which has been his favorite ever since. According to our physician, Noémi is only the second donor known to have given birth after kidney donation. Still, given how much work they have, there is rarely time for long conversations.

Noémi: We closed an extremely trying chapter then. It wasn’t only hard for us, but for our children, our parents and our friends as well — because in such times, everyone shares the burden of worry together. We could have chosen dialysis and a long wait, but it’s important to say this clearly: neither path is easier than the other. Both involve serious struggles, and neither guarantees that everything will turn out well. What matters is which path allows a family to support and hold one another more effectively. I often say: the miracle is not that my kidney was suitable for Tamás, but that I was able to give it to him when he needed it. This is not an obligation — it is grace and a gift.

Tamás: Many married couples start down this road, but due to a lack of genetic compatibility, only a few make it as far as surgery.

From this perspective, we are very fortunate. But precisely for that reason, it isn’t always easy to talk about it, because not everyone is given this opportunity.

In a situation like this, there is no mandatory solution.

When did the idea of having another child arise after the surgery?

Noémi: We both come from large families — each of us has six siblings — so we planned to have several children ourselves. Adorján and Bendegúz were born quickly, and then there was a long silence. We already knew that one day Tamás would need a kidney, but at that time his values were still good. After that, it was especially shocking that from one moment to the next, I myself ended up between life and death due to internal bleeding and almost died. We experienced very deeply that our lives are not in our own hands. My final request was that if things turned out badly, they should check whether my kidney might be suitable for Tamás’s older brother, who was already on dialysis at the time.

Tamás: And her first question after the surgery was: could we still have children?

Noémi: I had undergone gynecological surgery; one ovary was removed, the other also had to be operated on, and more than a liter of blood was drained from my abdominal cavity — so the question was entirely justified. It felt providential that the first person to answer me was obstetrician-gynecologist Dr. Balázs Bálint: “Of course—why not even a cartload of children?” I clung to that sentence for a long time. I felt that with just two children, our family was not yet complete. Since there are so many children in our family and surroundings, the boys also wanted another sibling.

This strongly optimistic attitude seems characteristic of you. But wasn’t it risky?

Noémi: Recovery took months, during which I was under the care of several doctors, and I often received disapproving looks — how could it even occur to me, I should just be glad to be alive. I tried to let it go, but the thought kept nagging at me. The years passed quickly, and meanwhile Tamás’s values began to worsen, yet the baby still did not arrive. Although after the transplant no one expected it, no one ever said that having a child would be risky. I never felt endangered; everyone looked after me very thoroughly.

Tamás: No one ever claimed it would be irresponsible. But perhaps Balázs was the most astonished when we showed up pregnant. (laughs)

Noémi: It quickly became a high-risk pregnancy, but thank God I didn’t have to be hospitalized. When my blood pressure rose, I twisted my ankle getting up from the couch, which — willingly or not — forced me to rest more. Fülöp is a miracle, but to experience that after you give away one of your kidneys, two new kidneys begin to develop and grow inside you—it’s indescribable… I often woke up with this thought, and even today it comes to mind frequently, how immense a gift it is to experience this.

Did adoption ever come up?

Noémi: We waited more than ten years for Fülöp. Tamás mentioned adoption several times, but I felt that alongside our two biological children, I might not be able to love an adopted child in the same way. Adorján, however, declared that anyone could come — as long as it was a boy — because living in the same house with a strange girl whom he might even marry one day would be immoral. It was an interesting perspective; we hadn’t thought of that. As the years went by, I eventually asked to look for a family where there were both biological and adopted children. We found one within arm’s reach, almost by fate. The mother confirmed my fears — and yet afterward we agreed: if I wasn’t pregnant by the end of September, we would start the adoption process. On October 2, we received the medical confirmation of Fülöp. We told the siblings that very evening; they were over the moon.

Since then, we often joke that my mother-in-law watched from above as we struggled, then stepped in front of God and said: “Now send a child there immediately.” That was exactly her kind of temperament.

And what is Tamás’s temperament like? I get the impression he wasn’t like this only after the new kidney…

Tamás: Yes, I was energetic even before. As the seventh child, my parents weren’t as strict with me. My father was nearly fifty-five when I was born; sometimes people thought he was my grandfather. In kindergarten they called me “ants-in-the-pants.” Before the surgery I slowed down a bit, but afterward I regained my strength, and I’ve been living my days actively ever since.

Noémi: He exercises regularly, and in 2025 he even won two medals at the World Games for Transplant Recipients. He can never sit still; he’s always looking for new challenges.

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Noémi Somogyi-Adamis and Tamás Farkas Somogyi – Photo: Ágnes Adamis

Briefly, tell us what you did professionally before.

Tamás: I attended several universities, eventually graduating in public administration, then completing a specialization in digital urban development. For many years I worked as a regional representative for a German automotive company, then renovated apartments with my younger brother. Meanwhile, I became a municipal councilor and later a full-time deputy mayor in Páty. I loved my work, but after the surgery it seemed calmer to return to sales.

Noémi: I’m a graphic designer; for years I designed wedding invitations and greeting cards. When I was pregnant with Bendegúz, the colleague working with us moved abroad, which put us in a very difficult situation. The baby was not even two weeks old when I was already conducting interviews. We considered every possible scenario — even closing down. But we had sixty-eight active orders, and we couldn’t let down couples preparing for their weddings. In the end, Tamás went on parental leave.

Tamás: At that time, we were one of Hungary’s largest wedding invitation manufacturers, with more than five hundred orders a year. Everything is handmade.

Noémi: Through designing invitations, I met thousands of couples, and it was always strange to see people often ten or twenty years older than me — many getting married well over forty, when for many of them having children was no longer possible.

Tamás: That’s where the thought came from: to say that this isn’t right, that it can lead to problems.

So the idea of Give Life is not new; fundamentally, we wanted to draw attention to early commitment and starting a family. It may not be right for everyone, but we wanted to show that it is one viable path.

Then life swept us along, and with two children and work, there simply wasn’t room for it at the time.

After the kidney transplant and Fülöp’s birth, how did you finally find time for it?

Noémi: The kidney surgery took place in October, and by December the Give Life Foundation was already registered. Back in 2012, we had secured the domain adjeletet.hu, but after a few years we let it go, and someone else claimed it. Providence helped again: one day it appeared on the list — I kept checking — that it had become available. As soon as it could be registered again, I sat at the computer until midnight so no one else could take it.

Tamás: I’d go back a bit in time. Before the surgery, we had to undergo countless examinations; more and more people kept calling to ask how we were doing, so we created a mailing list to keep everyone informed. Later, Noémi launched the Not Without My Husband blog, where more and more people found us.

Noémi: We ourselves had a hard time finding someone to talk to. We had to fight for every piece of information; it wasn’t even obvious whether spouses could donate kidneys to one another. A lot of time passed for us too before I recognized that this could be a solution. When I mentioned it, Tamás resisted for a long time. That’s when I realized I needed to look for examples. Through the story of a married couple who had gone through this years earlier, we saw that there is life after spousal transplantation. Yet it isn’t part of public awareness, and we wanted to change that — so we stepped into the public eye. I only wanted one thing: that it might occur to someone else that they could be suitable. No one asks a relative to give them a kidney, but if a loved one is in trouble and we hear about such a possibility, we might begin to consider it.

Tamás: That’s also why we didn’t stop the blog after launching the foundation — because we saw that people turn to it sooner; it feels more personal than an organization.

Noémi: Many people read my blog; I’m still surprised by how many people each of my posts reaches. We started receiving invitations to give testimony — not only about the surgery, but about the marital love that led to it. We see the greatest value in reaching society through young people, which is why we have repeatedly given talks to high-school and university communities.

Tamás: The rate of living donation could still be improved here, which is why it’s so important to talk about it. As we reached more and more places, the media began inviting us more often, and in the meantime the foundation also took on an increasingly significant role.

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Photo: Give Life Foundation

What has been achieved since then?

Tamás: We support and promote giving life based on two pillars: birth — giving life as a parent — and rebirth — giving life as a donor. Both are close to our hearts. With the help of Dr. Balázs Bálint, who is a member of our board, we also participate in education: we have a childbirth simulator doll for teaching breech birth. We launched the Traveling Cradle program, the Night of Families, created a studio, and are working on a donor card. Our next plan is to promote reading.

Noémi: The Traveling Cradle is a beautiful piece made by a Transylvanian woodcarver, decorated with the foundation’s logo and folk motifs. So far, we’ve searched for babies ourselves, but soon there will be a page where anyone can apply. We initially planned five events for the Night of Families.

We walk through the entire process of life: the first topic was couplehood and marriage, the second the blessing of children and becoming a family — both sold out in October and November.

The next event, titled Longing for and Waiting for a Child, will take place in January, followed by Trials Within the Family, and finally The Legacy of the Family — Our Roles Across Generations. More information is available on the foundation’s website.

Tamás: Originally, we planned a multi-day retreat for newlyweds, but this way we can reach many more people. We’re planning a continuation. We would like it to become nationwide one day, like the Night of Museums. Another idea is to spend a whole week — similar to Marriage Week — talking about families, with other cities joining in. We’ve also started building our YouTube channel, and the studio helps with producing high-quality content. We continue social education by building on children’s receptiveness. It’s a huge thing when a teenager mentions us at home — it shows we’ve captured their attention, and through them, their parents’ as well.

Do you have other plans as well?

Noémi: Adorján reads a great deal — we don’t have a television, and for a long time they didn’t even have other smart devices. At eleven or twelve, he launched the Úgyis le-books! YouTube channel —Read a book, because you’ll get caught with your gadget anyway! Móra Publishing noticed him, sent him books, invited him to their events, and he has even conducted author interviews for them when new books were released. Through the Válaszutak program on Kossuth Radio, he has already gained serious experience.

Tamás: Our eldest son happily participates in our programs and will be a key figure in the upcoming writer–reader meetings aimed at young people. In addition, the head of the outpatient department at the Transplantation Clinic, Dr. Szilárd Török, has implemented many innovative ideas — we are currently expanding the reading corner he created together with Móra Publishing. We have many ideas; we’ll see which ones we can bring to life.

The English translation was produced with large language model and reviewed by a human editor.